Adam Gnade

It’s my last night in Portland, Oregon and right now the words in my head, the words that sum up where I’m at, are from my favorite Castanets song, the one where Ray sings, “it’s a long and difficult dance but I think that maybe it’s still good/even though we all dance sometimes to a song that we don’t love like we should.” Life could be easy and it could be just what we want, but it’s not.

To be perfectly honest, I’m afraid of what lies ahead. It’s new wilderness to me. All chances taken and no sure bets. Portland was easy. This won’t be easy. But if I can do it right, and if I can stay honest, it will be all I’ve ever dreamed of—the real life, the big good one I’ve wanted since I started wanting things. Now, I’m sure you know what it is to want things but I don’t think a lot of us know about getting. Some people will tell you life is just one chain of humiliation and loss and disappointment. I believed that once, and I believed it HEAVY, but I now believe in the power of saying “fuck it” and pushing on until you get what you want.

So, see you around, Portland. Sometimes it was awful and sometimes it was great but it’s never been dull.

Your friend,

-Adam Gnade